Hans: VE ARE BACK!
Hawk: Yep!...No, sit back down...I'm sure you give a shit. No one's going to read this, so I'm going to be as offensive possible.
Troy: Do you even know what we're doing?
Troy: I found it browsing in Project AFTER.
Hawk: Those asshats?
Hans: Shut up, you just hate zem because zey vere grossed out by Dipper goes to Taco Bell.
Disclaimer: All of the Sonicverse characters and places inserted into this story are owned by SEGA, and used without permission. All other characters and places mentioned belong to me.
Sonic-> 18 years
Amy-> 16 years
Tails-> 13 years
Knuckles-> 20 years
Shadow-> 19 years
Hawk: Oh, there will be.
-> 9 years
Rouge-> 22 years
Hans: Anyone else getting a bad feeling zat now ze majority of ze cast are legal?
Troy: Well, this could just be an age up...I mean, in the Jack The Ripper story in assassins creed, the characters are twenty years older-
Hawk: They were legal before the timeskip...
Hans: Vonder vhat's going to happen to Cream. I've always been curious on zat zing's biology...I mean, it's not as zorough as an autopsy, vhich I vould prefer, don't get me wrong. But ve vill learn something!
Troy: Well, at least we have optimism on our side...Sick, Twisted, German, Mad Scientist Optimism...But still Optimism.
Chapter 1: Thoughts and Feelings
Love is something that has always seemed uncool to me,
Hawk: Not like Blood On The Dance floor, Guy liner, Black hair dye and his poetry. Those are cool.
as thought on this lumpy old couch at the dump. Sure, it's a blast to have girls squeal their heads off whenever I make the scene. I just can't see myself with a girlfriend.at all. You know what having one means? It means I'd have to give up my way cool lifestyle,
Hans: Knowing how zis usually goes, he may also end up pregnant. It seems Sonic has a tendency to get pregnant...I need to look into zat...Perhaps it's like sea horses....
Troy: You know just how wrong all of yours comments sound?
Hans: Nonsense! I'd never do anything unsuitable for family viewing!
Hawk: You sewed twelve mastiffs ass to mouth.
Hans: I needed to test zat movie's science! It vas either you and Troy, or Mastiffs!
Hawk: I wonder if you're still going to have fangirls after that line.
and I would probably have to give up adventuring! I'm not saying that I don't like the opposite sex; it's just that I haven't found the one for me yet.
Troy: Mark! the ramblings of a deluded virgin...Tis poetry to mine ears like that of Shakespear's great script!
True, I could settle for Amy, but why would I do such a stupid thing as that. She is so frelling annoying! I mean, seriously! Frell her! Frell her right frelling there!
She hugs like a robotic crustation, which I'd prefer over her! Can't she take a hint, I don't like her in the way she wants me to like her.
Troy: I mean, she always drugs his drinks and attempts to kidnap him! That's just coming off a bit strong, ya know?
I don't even like her as a friend! I know that everyone says that I care for her, and that I don't show it. I would prefer it if she would just go away. Hell, if I'd had a magic lamp right about now, that would be my first, second and third wish.
Hawk: I mean, fuck her! That bitch is probably standing on the ground. Standing on the fucking ground like a slut! Can you believe it?
Hans: Vhat a cunt.
"Hey, Sonic!", I leaned up from this torn, discolored couch, and spotted Tails running up to me. "Yo, Tails! What's up?" I asked when he came a little closer.
"What are you doing in a place like this? I never expected you hang out here in a dump?' Wait...Actually...'
As I've got up from the old thing and gave a little stretch, I looked at him dead in the eye and said "I know that this is the only place Amy will never find me."
Tails looked at me and blinked for a moment and then shrugged, " Ya know Sonic, and she's not that bad of a person to hang out with. I mean you've never once given her a chance to be close to you like Knuckles, Shadow, Cream, Rouge, and I are."
Hans: Sonic gets cold feet if he ever has to fuck the same species as himself. Hey, it happens.
I scoffed when I heard him utter those words "never gave her a chance", I gave her plenty of chances to get to know her. "Listen bro', don't you think that I given her a chance! I wasted so much time in the process of being her friend. Lord knows I did. She's.she's is the one of most useless creature alive.
Hans and Hawk both stare at Troy.
Hawk: Anyone want to draw parallels? Put your theories in the comments!
Troy: Fuck you.
She has no right to even exist in this world or even in the next one!" I knew what I said, and not once did I think about the consequences. Or, really anything for that matter.
Amy Rose the Hedgehog is one creature that I would never miss! Now, That life elemental I met in when I had that whole 'Werewolf' phase? I totally miss that guy!
If she packed up and left Station Square, I'd be one of the happiest hedgehogs ever to have lived. Who would ever love her!
Tails sighed and placed a hand on my shoulder, "Come on. Let's get out of this place and get something to eat. I'm starving, and besides.it's getting pretty cold outside." I shivered a bit as a trail of cold air went up my spines. I remember long ago someone had mentioned to me that whenever there's a day that is not supposed to exist in a season, it usually indicates something bad is going to happen.
Hans: Pause. Okay, quick question-Vhenever ze day suddenly gets really cold to one person, does it affect anyone else? Is it mental, or does it simply spread...Guys, I need one of you to have an immensely traumatic day.
I had to agree with what Tails said. It was getting cold out and how strange that it was on a summer night. Summer nights are supposed to somewhat muggy and humid. I stretched again and let out a great big yawn, before looking at the somewhat starry sky and then to Tails, "Yeah, let's get out of this dump. I'm so hungry, that I could eat my weight in food."
Love is one of the greatest of all feelings, as I think to myself. Even being loved by someone is awesome.
Troy: Well, she's not contradicting herself or anything.
It doesn't matter if it came from friends or family, but it would be even better if that love came from that certain someone you love with your heart and soul.
For me that someone was Sonic. I know in the easiest of words he finds me annoying , but I can't help it. It's not like I do it to him on purpose. Whenever I see him it's like as if we're ..we're .. jeez it's just so hard to describe how I feel about him. Whenever I see him I lose any sense of self-control.
Never in my wildest of dreams did I ever think of appearing like a fan-girl to him. In the very beginning, all I wanted to do was be myself. I know we were young when we first meet all those years ago on that mythical planet that everyone knew as Little Planet,
Troy: It was 'Bring your kid to work' day at the Astrology Department when they came up with a name.
and oh how I tried my best to get him to notice me by just being myself.
He never did notice. Not even with the streaking! Sonic just seemed to be more involved with the praises he got from his fans. Girl fans to be exact. It just seemed that is what he responded best to. I didn't want to lose him at all, but what choice did I have. That's why I am the way I am today.
All I wanted in life is to make him happy, to let him know that someone out there truly loves him and would do anything for him. As I gazed into one of the many store windows, I look at myself in the reflection and saw a pathetic pink hedgehog holding shopping bags and with probably no hope of ever being loved by the one creature that she has loved for what seemed to be like forever.
Hans:...Ya know vhat? I'm not making fun of this voman, she has a body image problem.
Maybe it would be better if I left Station Square, and never looked back. It probably would be better for the both of us, and I know as I felt my eyes start to water and sting, that it would make him happy. That's all I've ever wanted for him to be, happy and nothing more. Maybe I should finally give up on him. I'm losing the war for his heart.
Hawk: Remember woman's secret weapon!
Troy: You're not making a boob joke.
Hans: Zen vhat?
Hawk: Chloroform! The one way ticket to love...Or Stockholm syndrome...whichever comes first.
Troy: Well, aren't those implications terrifying.
Maybe I should just take that job offer in Roatha City. I'd be far from him and far away from Station Square. But I know that it would never be far enough to ease my heart.
With a heavy sigh, I turned away from the store window and started to walk down the block towards my apartment. As I walk up the steps to enter my building, I realize what if the way Sonic was acting was his way of protecting me from being used as target by Eggman, as his alkies heel.
But you, Alkies, There is not a man in the world more blest than you--There never has been, never will be one. Time was, when you were alive, we Argives honored you as a god, and now down here, I see. You Lord it over the dead in all your power. So grieve no more at dying, great Alkies.
Hawk: Sounds like Homer flipping out over a dead cat.
Then again, Eggman always uses me to get to Sonic.
Hans: It's actually him trying to declare his love. That's right! Eggman's a furry!
Not once did he ever let me down when it came to saving my life.
Troy: Come to think of it...Neither did Captain America let down Iron Man when it came to saving his life. Hmmmm....
This was really eating me up inside. I just couldn't shake this feeling of hope that was in my heart. As I turned the key to open my apartment door I knew then that I had to know for sure. I needed to know to truth. I felt as if I had a right to it. To know how Sonic the Hedgehog truly felt about me!
With that notion in my mind, I hurried and put away all the groceries in their proper places. I dashed to the closet and grabbed my coat since it was now getting dark outside
Troy: By 'coat' we mean 'Safety Blanket'
and strangely cold for a summer night.
Hans: Okay, ve don't need traumatic experiences. Everyone is cold.
I started to get this bad feeling. It was if someone was gleefully dancing on my very own grave.
Troy: TRIUMPHANT RETURN!
Hawk: Unfunny return.
Hans: Ja, very forced....